Issues
I am having food/drink issues!!
Issue #1: Cutting meat has always been an issue for me. As a kid I would always have my dad cut my meat whether it was tough or tender. The problem was that when I ever-so-gently moved the knife to and fro to cut the delicious meat, the entire table would wobble and drinks would spill over the edges of the glasses that contained them.
Today I got to eat lunch with SBTS Trustees (in my business suit!). I opted to eat the "country ham." I began to cut my tender country ham with grace running from my fingertips until the table started to wobble. I looked up desperately at my water and tea. Sure enough, the drinks were threatening to run over the sides of the glass with each gentle glide of my hand. I stopped trying to cut my meat and just ate the fruit on my plate. Needless to say, I left hungry.
Issue #2: So I craved Chick-fil-A's chicken nuggets all day long. I left work at about 6:00 and rushed over to Chick-fil-A since it IS the absolute best fast food joint of all time. My mouth watered as I waited in the drive-through line. I decided to go with the 12-piece combo (I usually do the 8 piece). I drove away happy, but I couldn't wait until I got home to eat. So I opened my box, held a container of the barbecue sauce in my left hand, and drove with my right hand. Some crazy lady in front of me SLAMMED on her dumb brakes, so I had to slam on my brakes. That's when the impossible happened. Suddenly...
DUN! DUN! DUUUUUUUUN!
My chicken nuggets fell on the floor!!! AUGH!! It was horrible. I pretty much looked like this:
Issue #3: I was saddened by my chicken nuggets being wasted, but I turned on some oldies and continued to drive home in full assurance that the Lord is sovereign. As I drove, I noticed a strange bike rider. It was a guy with no shirt on. He had a 20-oz bottle of Pepsi...oh man...I'm embarrassed to say this...upside down...with the neck of the bottle stored between the cheeks of his buttocks!! AUGH!! It was traumatizing! I'm sure he was just had nowhere else to store it, but COME ON! Okay, I'm grossed out...
posted by Nikki Leigh Daniel @ 10/12/2005 05:42:00 PM
13 comments
13 Comments:
It's what bikers do. Hot buttpepsi makes you strong and intimidating, and gives you a better sense of balance.
As far as the nuggets: so you're saying that even though they're the best, they're still not good enough to eat off of your car floor? Because I would probably disagree.
or maybe the biker was drinking the pepsi with his butt. Ever think about that?
Nikki, seriously, I think the 5-second rule applies even in the car. Especially with regard to long-awaited Chick-fil-a nuggets.
No, ya'll. My car hasn't been vacuumed in...wait...has it ever been vacuumed? Um...I can't actually remember a time that it's been vacuumed. Oh yeah-once. It was probably RIGHT after I got it which was in March. SICK ME OUT! There's dirt, rocks, leaves, grass, probably dog poop...and kinds of other surprises on my car floor. I'm not ABOUT to eat off the floor. Sick. I'll just go buy more nuggets tomorrow.
I threw 'em out the window. It was a sad time, but I had to do it. Now, for a wedding present, someone should vacuum my car. If it had just been vacuumed, you better BELIEVE I would have eaten them. I probably would have licked the floor for crumbs! Okay, maybe not. But who wants to vacuum my car? Anybody? Anybody? Bueler? Bueler?
Send them nuggets TO ME!
We ain't even GOT a Chick-Fill-A in near a HUNDURD MAHLS, and you gotta go and THOW them thangs out the winduh.
Girl, girl, girl, whut we gonna do wit' choo? Yore husbund wouldah ate them thangs, if you wuz married by now!
Weak sauce! I would've eaten those nuggets with nary a second thought.
Hi! This is Harvey Brown!
Sister Nikki, I'm so glad you didn't pick up that errant chicken. You are right -- you could have accidentally tracked in dog poop from outside. People don't realize all the diseases they can get from eating things off a car floorboard. Our bodies are temples unto the Lord, so we must take care of them.
Sorry, i would've wolfed them down, too. Stomach of Steal and digestive juice of Listerine. Bring on the dirt and bugs ... Africa, here i come!
Look I was thirsty but didn't want the whole Pepsi all at once - wanted to save some for after the ride. I would tell you about what happened to my shirt but its a long story - suffice to say that I lost a fight with a strange dog. Anyway, the lid to the Pepsi was on securely so get off my case.
Gosh I can't believe you saw me. I KNEW that would happen
Now, I can't really speak for chick-fil-a nuggets, but if I had spilled some of my buy one get one free Marie Callander pie from Kroger, I would've most certainly picked it off the ground and eaten it. Well, on second thought, pie splatters, and so I would've stopped the car, gotten into position, and licked it up. On third thought, I probably just would have accepted the loss and claimed that to have been part of the free pie.
Note: If you get your oil changed and fluids checked at Super Wal-mart, they vacuum your car for FREE, all for a whopping $20... it gives the illusion that one has the time to actually do it oneself.
YES!!
Nikki -
This morning some sopping wet, muddy chicken nuggets knocked on my door and demanded that I leave you this message:
Deer Nikee
Why yoo throw us out da windoh? We had hard time geteeng hoam. You shood bee shaimd of self.
no longger yors,
The Nuggitz
ps Eet mor chikn
Poor things... I gave them a nice warm home...in my belly!
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