Random Questions
Here's a list of random questions that I've been contemplating for quite some time now. Enlighten me with answers.
1. Why do we have two small nostrils and not one big nose hole?
2. How come everyone can't roll their "r's?"
3. What significance do freckles have?
4. Why do chewable Pepto-Bismol tablets turn your tongue brown?
5. What does the "H" stand for in Preparation H?
6. Why is there braille on drive-up ATM machines?
7. Why don't guys shave their armpits?
8. Why do 3/4 sleeve sweaters exist?
9. How did different accents start in different parts of the country?
10. Why is the word "chunky" so nasty sounding?
11. Why does cilatro taste like that?
12. How does Britney Spears get away with wearing a t-shirt that says "I am the American Dream?"
13. Why do we consider ties to be decorative clothing? It's just a long piece of cloth (or silk) tied around your neck.
14. Why do mullets still exist?
15. Why do people say they'll be somewhere "with bells on?"
16. Why do hiccups sound so weird?
17. Why do people drink decaf coffee? Is it really for the taste?
18. Why doesn't gum dissolve?
19. Why are most Pop "Tarts" sweet?
20. Why do we have ear lobes?
21. Why can't I stand when people say "I sliced my flesh?"
22. Is there another word for "synonym?"
23. Can chickens actually run around with their heads cut off?
24. Isn't it hilarious when a "psychic" goes bankrupt?
25. What exactly is the "The Sign" that Ace of Base sang about?
posted by Nikki Leigh Daniel @ 3/04/2005 12:20:00 AM
24 comments
24 Comments:
1. Much easier for coke addicts. (so I'm told)
2. Some people prefer to roll their W's.
3. A distraction from pimples.
4. So people know that you're sick so they can stay away from you.
5. Hard to work up the courage to go to a store and buy.
6. We wouldn't want to discriminate against blind drivers would we?
(Oh my gosh! there's 18 more of these!?!?!)
7. So we can braid our armpit hair when women aren't looking.
8. They had to do something with the sleeves they cut off to make T-shirts.
9. I think they vote on it.
10. Better than creamy.
11. Chicken.
12. To keep immigrants out.
13. Better than powdered wigs.
14. Because Billy Ray Cyrus rules!
15. So when you hear someone coming with a bunch of bells clanging you don't freak out.
16. It's to scare away elephants. Ever seen an elephant near you when you had the hiccups?
17. Just to add color to their teeth.
18. What would we put under our church pews if it did?
19. So you can dip them in your decaf coffee.
20. So our mothers have something to grab hold of.
21. Maybe you're an antinomian.
22. Ummmm...yes, but I'm not allowed to tell.
23. Yes, but not in competition.
24. No, it's very sad.
Actually, chickens do run around with their heads cut off. That's where the expression came from. You can chop a chickens head off and then put it down and it will run around. Some phenomenon, huh?!
- Source of Useless Information (um, that would be me)
B-Dog here. Just a few answers for now (but I DO know everything ...)
A. Some men do shave their armpits. I am one of them. Armpit hair is nasty-looking (no, I do not shave my legs. Leg hair is acceptable on men, but not armpit hair. Are we barbarians? No, I say).
B. I can't for the life of me see the point of decaf coffee among the young and healthy. However, people with heart conditions are often advised to go decaf. Here at my office, we get free Starbucks coffee, except the decaf drinkers, who must make do with decaf Folgers. Those poor blokes ....
C. Lorie is correct. Chickens do run around with their heads cut off. They can carry on this way for several minutes. Is it cruel to trip them? I mean, since they're already dead? There's a question for ya!
25. (stroking beard) Hmmm...I'm not sure what the sign is for "one-hit wonder."
Nikki,
you officially have too much time on your hands!
luv ya!
Nikki-
That's hilarious! I used to own chickens, and, yes, they do run around after they have their heads cut off. We never actually killed our chickens, but I've witnessed the murder of several, which is a long story to say the least.
I'm so excited to see another girl guitarist! I haven't been to Sojourn in a few months, so I don't think I've met you or heard you play. But I can't wait! When are you playing again? Man, I haven't picked mine up for awhile now...
And I've always wondered how people in different places formed unique accents. And I don't quite understand decaf coffee either.
1. So if one gets stopped up, you can still breathe through the other one.
2. Some people can't snap, either.
3. Character!
4. Because they are made of dirt.
5. It stands for "H-oooooooEEE, that's relieving!" Also, "Gotta squirt some iz-H on my riz-oids!" (from SNL).
6. In case of really bright sun.
7. Scared of cuts.
8. People with mullets wear them.
9. No clue. But in PA, people say "you-uns" instead of "ya'll" and it drives me nuts.
10. Since when do you think that?
11. Chlorophyl
12. How does Ashlee Simpson get away with recording an album?
13. And they're uncomfortable, too.
14. Because three quarter length sweaters still do.
15. They also say "I hate the Lakers." But that makes sense.
16. At least they don't stink.
17. Better than tea (blech!).
18. Dextrin.
19. Sugar.
20. To grow mullets over.
21. Why can't I stand it when people say "Nyke" instead of "Ni-key."
22. Nothing rhymes with orange, either.
23. Ouch.
24. And sad, too.
25. "For Lease."
I can only imagine what we'd stick up our nose if we only had one big hole. I'm just saying, G.I. Joe and My Little Pony would be permanent fixtures in many kids heads. Besides that really gross kid that went around trying to blow snott on everyone would be even nastier.
freckles make people look better.
13. Ties are sexy!
Nikki really likes the word "CHUNKS".... she always has. She especially likes it when people use it creatively in sentences.
Nikki's Dad
Thanks, Dad. You're the best...
Though i hate to wax theological, mullets actually exist only because sin still exists. So get your kicks over people with mullets now (by playing games such as the mullet point game, or who can spot the grossest mullet), for when Christ returns, there will be no more mullets.
"Isn't it obvious that it's disgraceful for a man to have long hair?" -1 Corinthians 11:14, NLT
Lenny- That is one of the funniest things I've heard (or seen) you say...that's awesome! I miss you dude, even though you're near me all the time.
Decaf coffee does actually have some caffeine in it. If I couldn't drink the real thing, I would prob drink decaf.
Man, Bobby, that would so suck to be those people who had to drink Folgers while ya'll got free Starbucks!
Lenny,
Adam, Trish and I miss you too. Come visit our mullet collection in Lexington!
I actually started wondering about the neckties when I graduated college and have to re-learn how to tie a tie about 45 minutes before every interview. What did they do before one could Google "how to tie a tie?" I suppose the way clothes used to be made, they would fall off your body if you didn't tie your shirt around your neck. It couldn't be too loose because you could find yourself topless somewhere in public. To make sure this didn't happen, it was best to make the necktie as tight as possible... to the point that you would faint, and then loosen it just a little bit.
how do you add a poll to your blog? do you put the code in as a new post? thanks
Colin-
Thanks for the encouragement! I'll check your site out soon.
Del-
yeah, just copy and paste the html code to a new post.
I'm so relieved to see that others share a derranged sense of humour, similar to my own. I must comment on 3/4 length sleeves. For the Amazon women of this great country(such as myself) they have been a God send...as are Capri pants, for that matter. No more having to line dry all of your clothes. This is especially nice in regard to Capri pants since some of us rely on the dryer to shrink the butt of our pants back up to regular size after having been stretched beyond measure from a long day's wear. And let's be honest, some of us take pants beyond a day's wear!
THE TRUE (almost Canonical) answers...
1. Because we have two hands; each hand has a nostril to pick.
2. Because my tongue has no hill to roll down.
3. They camouflage your face from the ravenous ligers.
4. When one considers the symptoms involved that lead to taking the pills, it kind of makes you wonder what they make pills out of, doesn't it?
5. "Hard" - Because if you need Preparation H, you better be prepared for a hard time sitting down.
6. Because denying the blind the privilege of driving is soon to be considered a Hate Crime in most states.
7. Armpit hair is cute. I like to braid mine into corn-rolls.
8. Because we must take into account those of us that have had 1/4 of their arms bitten off by crocodiles.
9. Literacy and education are treasured virtues in the North.
10. I don't know about you, but when I blow chunks, it's pretty nasty.
11. I don't do drugs.
12. Ask any boy going through puberty, and they will affirm that Britney Spears is, in fact, the embodiment of the American teenager's Dream.
13. In case we are attacked by ferocious raccoons after church, we have our trusty ties to fight them off.
14. Mullets are easily the greatest hairstyle ever invented. If God had hair, He would have a mullet.
15. Wearing bells is a good safety precaution. They alarm any sleeping buffalos of your presence.
16. Hiccups may sound weird, but at least they don't smell like farts.
17. Drinking decaf coffee is like teenagers that smoke without inhaling. "Everyone is doing it, so this will make me look cool."
18. Gum works out daily. No wimpy saliva bring it down.
19. The inventor of Pop Tarts had no tastebuds, so his friends thought it would be funny to make him believe that strawberries tasted like butt.
20. Hey, I am just glad they aren't on our foreheads.
21. In answering this question, I realized something. Abraham was commanded to slice his own flesh! Dude, Abe, I think I would have negotiated for something else.
22. Yes, "clam chowder"
23. I don't know. Let's get a chicken and try it on the Seminary lawn.
24. It's okay, they knew it was coming and thought it would fun.
25. The Sign says "Your Song Sucks"
Ohmygoodness! Who knew that Ken was so funny?!
Ken, I'm cracking up at your answer for #7! I'm seriously cracking up!
Oh, and Bobby, and I never addressed this, but do you realize that you just openly told us that you shave your armpits? Don't get me wrong-body hair grosses me out. I think all guys should shave their pits. You are very brave for stepping forward and claiming that. :)
I'm trying to lead guys out of their armpit-hair wildernesses.
Come on, fellows. Follow me.
I really enjoy this website so I thought I'd throw in my answers for this.
1. Because if we had to pick our nose with 2 fingers, we'd just look foolish. Plus, you wouldn't have as many boogers with just one nostril, therefore, picking time would go down because you have half as many boogers and twice as many fingers.
2. Well, it usually has something to do with tongue retardation. Everyone is born being able to do it, but as life goes on, the retardation sets in, and I'm a big moron.
3. They're actually like one of those magic eye paintings. So, the next person you see with freckles, get within an inch of their face and slowly back away.
4. They've got a tootsie roll center.
5. "How am I supposed to apply this?"
6. In case the sun's in your eyes...refer to the last part of question 2.
7. I actually do and I try to convince every guy I know to do it. I don't shave it to the skin because that's just uncomfortable and itchy....
8. Don't your wrists sweat as much as mine?
9. I honestly don't have a good answer for that one. Not that the previous 8 have been spectacular...
10. Chunky chunk chunk. I kinda like the sound of it. Chunky. Chunky peanut butter, chunky salsa, mmmmmm.
11. My question is how do you describe what it tastes like?
12. Because "I'm a Trailer-Trash Whore" was in the wash.
13. Again, you've stumped me. I love wearing ties, but you're right, it's nothing more than a long piece of silk.
14. I had a mullet once. It was awesome...
15. No kidding. You never hear someone say, "I'll be there with clothes on," but that's what they usually show up in. Never once have I seen someone show up somewhere with bells on.
16. I hate hiccups. They sneak up on you and make you sound like an idiot. They sound weird to make you sound like an idiot. That's their entire purpose.
17. Drinking decaf is like kissing your sister. You go through the motions but you get nothing out of it...again, refer to the end of #2.
18. I think there's rubber in it. And anti-disolvant stuff.
19. Because Pop Sweets sounds dumb.
20. Why DON'T we have nose lobes or toe lobes. I like lobes.
21. First of all, who that you know says that? That's such a formal way of saying, "I cut myself."
22. Adequation, agreement, alikeness, compatibility, conformity, correlation, correspondence, equality, evenness, exchangeability, identity, interchangeability, interchangeableness, likeness, match, par, parallel, parity, similarity. Man, I am so smart. (not really, I ripped off thesaurus.com)
23. Funny story: I had a neighbor once who was actually slaughtering chickens in his backyard and he had like eight headless chickens running around in his backyard. We didn't live in the country so it wasn't very normal to see some guy slaughtering chickens in the back yard of his suburban house. So, to answer your question, yes, they really do run around with their head cut off. Actually, that wasn't a funny story at all. Just really long and stupid, but if you'd actually witnessed it, it's the funniest darn thing.
24. They knew it was gonna happen, they just didn't want to tell anyone.
25. When that song first came out, I always thought they were saying "The Sun" so I was actually singing out loud in the hallways of my middle school and everyone looked at me like I was a moron. "I saw the sun, and it opened up my eyes..." I always wondered how the sun opened their eyes. Most people have to close their eyes when they see the sun, but not Ace of Base.
Holy crap, that took me way too long and it still sucks. Well, hopefully it brings a smile to your face. Enjoy!
Doug-
Those are hilarious! I love your responses for freckles, bells on, and "The Sun." I was seriously laughing out loud when I read them!
Thanks for your insight!
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