The Pity Clap

Today I had the privilege of leading music with Jason Dees at his church in Indiana. (By the way, I call Jason "Chinese Jason Dees." If you're wondering why, just ask him about "House and Tiger! House and Tiger!"). We had a great time, but there were some confusing parts. For example, while the kids were lighting the candles, he motioned for me to play something. I didn't have anything prepared, so I picked up my guitar and started playing the first thing that came into my mind. It was Patty Griffin's "Moses."

When the horror of "special music" came, I was in for a major bump in the road. It was just me and my guitar. I started playing "Come Thou Fount" in the key of "G" like normal. When it was time to start singing, I tried to find my first note and ended up singing all over the place(microphone on). I sounded like a hyena or something. I looked at Jason and he just shook his head at me and smiled. That's when I noticed...

I FORGOT TO PUT MY CAPO ON MY GUITAR! (dun, dun, duuuuuunn!)

Oh, the horror! I was in a key 5 half-steps lower than I normally sing the song in. So, I just played like nothing happened and started singing like a man. I'm talking LOW. I made it through the first verse and wanted to die. It was terrible. So, I stopped and said "hope ya'll don't mind...I'm just gonna put this capo on my guitar."

I put the capo and made it through the song. It was horrible. That's when I received the pity clap.

There were like 5 old people clapping really slow while everyone else just kinda looked around. Honestly, that was more than I deserved. They were so sweet to encourage me with applause, but I was so embarrassed that I wanted to run off stage and peel out of the parking lot, never to return. But after the service, an old man came up and told me that I should leave my PA System up and come back next week. So sweet.

Thanks, sir, but I think I'll take my pity clap and stay home.